Huge Shark

He Dared Me (V. Polichar, © 2022) 
The final lie is always known 
when the dust is drawn and sown. 
I’ll never know what it meant to you, 
but it broke me through and through. 

Maybe the wind rose, 
kicking the leaves up; 
yours in a moment. 

Then he dared me, “Drink just one, 
Step inside this pool of sun.” 
— But I don’t want to wait that long. 

Now the sweet of summer’s gone 
and we face the chill of dawn. 
All the things I thought I knew 
melt into a verse of dew. 

Was it a sleepwalk? 
Was it a nightmare? 
How you remember… 

Then he dared me, “Take that dive. 
When you reach the other side, 
you will know that you’re alive.” 

And if it’s all that I get, 
then it’s all that I get. 
And if it’s not over yet, 
then it’s not over yet. 

Then he dared me to believe, 
to take a breath before I leave; 
then there’s nothing left to grieve. 

Pirates (V. Polichar, © 1993) 
Anchor my heart; 
I am trying to fall out of love. 
The deck is my pain, 
and this missing you all I can think of. 
Pirates will come, cargo gets lost… 
You carry storms, your holds are light, 
your smile is sure and strong. 
You’ll be all right, sail dreamlessly. 
All of these nights are long. 

Knife in the dark; 
catch the light on the flat of the blade. 
Enough of a spark 
that I dive to the side and am saved. 
I find myself here at your door. 
Retrace the path:  I’ll return again, 
all of my pain a song. 
If I begin to think you are mine, 
remind me that I am wrong. 

(I’m so close to breaking that your slightest hand could touch me apart.) 

Look at me now, 
when I can’t find the trail to your heart. 
The night is a sea, 
and my sails are all falling apart. 
The wind in my face, lighthouse gone dark… 
I’ll wander on, bound for other ports, 
but I won’t forget this time. 
I’ve made a map that leads to your soul 
the pirates will never find. 

Rolling Away (V. Polichar, © 2022) 
Sometimes I can’t hear 
your voice in my mind 
and the sense of you 
comes all disentwined 
All the lies they told me — 
but I know you matter still 
I’ll find the will 

But is my love rolling away 
Is my love rolling away 

That the memories will always be strong 
That the distances won’t always be long 
And that I’ll remember just the way I wanted to 
how I loved you 

But is my love burning away 
like the clouds on a scorching summer day 
Is my love rolling away 

The pepper and the salt of you 
your laugh against my ear 
The better and the all of you 
I wish that you were here 
But I forget you 
I just can’t let you 
go, my love. 

I ain’t never gonna go blowing away 
like my heart when I face another day 
I ain’t never gonna go rolling away 
Won’t let my love go rolling away 
Is my love rolling away 

Breath-Taking (V. Polichar, © 1989) 
I find the night is too quiet for me 
without your soft breathing to lull me to sleep. 
I hear an owl on the porch make his call. 
I sit here staring at nothing at all. 
It’s too late — I see you — you’re far away 

Taking a long breath of air, 
taking a moment of vapor, 
shaking the rain from your hair, 
watching me cry. 

I have to learn how to stand up alone, 
to use the sweet power of this body I own. 
Those who are lost weave their ropes of despair. 
I’ll find my map written here in the air. 

Taking a long breath of air, 
taking a moment of vapor, 
pulling the stones from my soul, 
learning to breathe. 

Taking a long breath of air, 
taking a moment of vapor, 
wearing the stars in my hair, 
learning to breathe. 

Lose Your Love (V. Polichar, © 2015) 
I can’t lose your love. 

Heard you screaming in that tenor — 
the boy with the baritone heart. 
I kept faith with you through winter, 
and that was the end of the start. 

I can’t lose your love; it never was mine. 

Caught me tripping over highways, 
the girl at the bend in the road. 
I can recognize the darkness, 
but I can’t decipher the code. 

I can’t lose your love; it never was mine. 

And the cool dark night between us, 
and the miles of broken lines, 
while the rivers flood the byways 
to the only thing that shines… 

I can’t lose your love; it never was mine. 

I’ve got you for all time: 
the boy with the baritone heart… 

Red Flares (V. Polichar, © 1991) 
Red flares on the highway; 
whatever they were for is gone. 
Nothing left but the dust on the pavement, 
and the slow-stealing light of dawn. 
Somebody’s sad disaster; somebody ran out of gas; 
somebody lost a wheel; somebody just wanted to pass… 
Their footprints look the same 
(unless you’re checking for the broken glass) 
Somebody’s bad disaster; 
Somebody’s gone home at last… 

Take the wheel, it’s my turn to sleep 
and it’s quieter in the back. 
You can watch the sky through the slats in the window 
where the windshield-wipers slap. 
The rain rings out on the bumper 
and the metal of the luggage rack. 
— I don’t know where we’re heading, 
but I don’t think we can ever go back. 

I’d like to tell you how I’m feeling 
but I don’t know if you’d understand. 
There was a time we would talk forever; 
now you only hold my hand. 
We would sit up ‘til four in the morning 
just working out our future plans. 
Now you’re tired, but you tell me that you love me — 
and I don’t know where I stand. 
Wind lifts the corners of the Chevy 
and the headlights fill with sand. 
Some of us will learn to love the lightning; 
some of us will love the burned and broken land. 

Red flares on the highway; 
whatever they were for is gone. 
Nothing left but the dust on the pavement, 
and the slow-stealing light of dawn. 
Somebody’s bad disaster; somebody ran out of gas; 
somebody lost a wheel; somebody just wanted to pass… 
Their footprints look the same 
(unless you’re checking for the broken glass) 
Somebody’s sad disaster; 
Some things were never meant to last. 

A Prayer for Rain (V. Polichar, © 1990) 
I’m at the top of a ferris wheel. 
My arms are caged behind this web of steel. 
My skin is stained from the wounds I’ve laid. 
My face grows darker with each passing day. 

I know it’s not imaginary. 
I know I’m not extraordinary. 
I know that someday I will move. 

Let it rain down on me. 
Let it rain down and wash me clean. 

I wake from dreams of desert sand, 
her yellowed bones in my sun-red hand. 
I try to speak — my throat is choked with dust. 
I find my eyes are swollen shut with rust. 

I know it’s not imaginary. (No.) 
I know we’re not extraordinary. (No.) 
But her verdant gardens fade to white. 

Let it rain down on me. 
Let it rain down on California. 

At night, the snakes slither through dry grass. 
I hear my heart as it whispers past. 
— Another bare and muddy riverbed. 
— Another stone beside another… 

Let it rain down on me. 
Let it rain down on California. 
We’re at the top of the wheel. 

Atoms (V. Polichar, © 2018) 
Unfettered atoms; 
krill in the sea; 
dust in a dust storm; 
cells inside of me; 

Calendar pages; 
heart’s greater load; 
these stolen kisses; 
this unfollowed road… 

All you are — 
the dark, the light, 
the difficult, 
the tsavorite — 
is shining. 

Mathematics (V. Polichar, © 1993) 
I like the feel of the numbers 
running through my hand. 
But I’ve the heart of a charlatan: 
I do not understand 
the twisting of the symbols 
that held me to your chest. 
And even though I was serious, 
I could not stand the test of mathematics. 

Mathematics of the higher places. 
Mathematics of the empty spaces between the stars. 
Mathematics of one and one choose three — 
what would make me happy? 

I like the feel of explosions 
running through my head, 
and all my fiery arrows — 
it was me I burned instead. 
For no particular reason, 
head turned to the west, 
even though I was serious, 
I could not do as I thought best. 

Mathematics of the higher places. 
Mathematics of the virgin spaces between the stars. 
Mathematics of one and one choose three — 
what would make you happy? 

And when I look the sky seems stable. 
When I walk the earth feels firm. 
And love is just a fable 
I thought I’d learned. 

They say you only regret 
the things you haven’t done. 
Well, we never did anything 
that would make me turn and run. 
So I’m left with a hunger 
coursing through my nerves, 
and all the years between us now 
are stretched into a curve of mathematics. 

Mathematics of the higher places. 
what could make me happy? 

Where is the missing matter? 
Why does the missing matter? 
What is the missing matter? 
What does the missing matter? 

Everything (V. Polichar, © 2015) 
You glide along the runway of the road, 
imagine that you’ll take off into space 
and never have to run another race — 
You step out in the street, 
and smile just before you’re losing everything. 

The sun is moving fast over the field; 
you’re chasing it the way you always do. 
You’ll never catch it up, but then you know 
the bottle’s on the bar, 
and no one there to watch you losing everything. 

I’m looking over your old family photos 
to try to track the heartbreak in your smile; 
but you keep shining out, 
without the anger and the doubt, 
so maybe you were happy for a while. 

The moon is no escape — it lights the way. 
You try not to look backwards through the day, 
to keep your head down, just keep moving on — 
but lost there in the snow, 
from your face I know you’re losing everything. 

(And I stand here in your shadow 
and cannot reach your hand — 
I’m losing everything.)